What Good Does Prayer Do?

I want to talk about prayer for a minute.

Prayer has been in the news and in front of us a lot the past few days and weeks, with the passing of some very public folks (Queen Elizabeth, Mike Leach, Dori Monson, people I’ve known, friends of friends, and the like), and the tragic cardiac event that Damar Hamlin sustained on Monday Night Football last night. Many of us have been pouring our hearts out to God through prayer, asking for help and healing and comfort and answers and peace.

I think people often – non Christians and Christians alike – have the wrong idea about what exactly prayer is.

What it is, what it ISN’T, why we do it, what we can expect from it.

It’s easy to see prayer as a wish list, or a list of demands even, of what we want God to do. Sort of like the letters to Santa we wrote as kids, hoping that our wishes would be granted.

Some people see prayer as a test for God:

– If you’re real, you’ll answer my prayer.

– If you’ll just do this, I’ll be a good believer for the rest of my life.

– If you love me, you’ll give me this.

– If this prayer comes true, I’ll believe you are real.

But those totally miss the point.

First of all, if God is God, then He already knows what we want/need. We don’t actually HAVE to tell Him, or remind Him.

Jesus even told us this in the Sermon on the Mount, right before he introduced what we call the Lord’s Prayer:

“… your Father (in Heaven) knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him.”

Matthew 6:8

So God knows what you need already. He knows what you need before you do.

He also knows what is in your best interests, even when it’s different than what YOU think is in your best interests. Life experiences have really brought home the truth of this statement. I do not always know what is in my own best interests. I always think I know. But sometimes I am wrong.

It’s cool, now, years down the road, to see the wisdom of God not giving me all my deepest desires. The chorus of Garth Brooks ‘song “Unanswered Prayers” sums this up nicely:

“Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs

That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care

Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”

Garth Brooks, “Unanswered Prayers”

So God knows what we need already. But at the same time, God wants RELATIONSHIP with us. He WANTS us to tell Him what is on our hearts and share our concerns and desires with Him.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7

If you have ever experienced the peace that comes from knowing that no matter what happens, everything will be alright, even if you don’t know what that will look like – then you understand what it means to know and trust God with your life and your future.

“And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. 15 And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.”

1 John 5:14-15

A deeper understanding of our relationship with God and prayer tells us that God won’t simply give us everything we want, just because we’ve asked for it. Some people think that’s what 1 John 5 means: that if we ask and believe that God hears us, we’ll receive that very thing.

Isn’t that what it says? Doesn’t it mean what it says?

Yes.

But also, no.

Verse 14 tells us that He gives us what we ask for when it lines up with His will, His plan. John was talking to BELIEVERS here, not unbelievers. It is assumed that they are trying to live life in a way that lines up with God’s expectations and directives. When our goal is to live more like Jesus, our desires, over time, WILL line up with God’s. And we’ll ask for things that align with His plan.

Sometimes we think our request does line up with God’s will and get discouraged because we feel like the prayer wasn’t answered.

– What am I doing wrong?

– Doesn’t God like me?

– Does He even hear me?

– Is He even there?

Remember that we only have a small, small part of the big picture when it comes to this life, and God’s plan. We only know our past and present (or maybe we only have the past, because as soon as it’s here, the present becomes the past and we have a brand new present which immediately becomes the past…), but God also knows the future. That’s a huge piece of insight that we don’t have.

I’ve learned to be OK with not having all the answers. Man, it was hard to get there! There’s a lot of peace in being OK with knowing less than everything.

Why do bad things happen to good people? I don’t know!

Why did I lose my job – I prayed that I wouldn’t. I don’t know!

How can it be that God has always existed? I don’t know!

Believe me, I still have all the questions (and A LOT of answers ) but I no longer HAVE to have all the existential answers to find peace. That was not an easy thing for me to grasp and put into my life. Humans feel safe when we have the illusion of having all the truth, all the answers, and all the control. It really is an illusion, though. It’s cool to discover that real freedom and real security is found in letting go of all that. Weird, right?

Sometimes we pray for someone to get well, and they don’t. Sometimes we pray for a relationship to work out, and it doesn’t. Sometimes we pray for clarity and we don’t seem to receive that in the way we wanted.

As my faith has matured, I’ve realized that even when the requests I make in prayer don’t turn out the way I wanted, I still benefit in ways I had never imagined.

When I know others are praying either with me or for me, I feel a deep sense of belonging and love and community. I feel cared for and treasured. And yes, I feel those prayers on a spiritual level. I feel seen, and heard, even if the results aren’t what I’d hoped for. I am built up by the knowledge that others are praying for/with me.

We saw that community aspect of prayer yesterday (and still today) with the Damar Hamlin injury during Monday Night Football. The game didn’t matter anymore. This young man was fighting for his life. Teammates and opponents were both stunned, concerned, crying, hugging. Praying together on national TV. Nobody ashamed of showing faith in God at that moment.

Everyone watching in person and on TV was reminded that life really is like a vapor, and things can change in the blink of an eye.

We all paused and reconsidered life, our priorities. At least I did.

Human beings instinctively come together in unity and prayer at times of tragedy. It is a beautiful thing. And I wish we could carry this same level of sincere, heart-level unity in faith through to the ordinary days, and the boring days, and the days when we disagree with each other.

To the HARD days, of which there are so many.

It’s easy to have unity when you’re with people who agree with you. Why do you think people change churches so often? They are looking for a place where people practice their faith more similarly to the way they do. We sort of major in the minors, and look for a perfect place, which doesn’t exist. The most impactful kind of unity is when people are committed to unity no matter what – especially in the face of disagreement.

You focus on your common, core beliefs, and work out the rest.

Extend grace to different ways of living out that faith.

It’s not an “anything goes” sort of attitude, but rather a “it doesn’t have to be done my way to be ‘right'” way of dealing with differences.

Remember what the Apostle Paul shared with the Corinthian church about differences between people he ministered to:

“When I was with the Jews, I lived like a Jew to bring the Jews to Christ. When I was with those who follow the Jewish law, I too lived under that law. Even though I am not subject to the law, I did this so I could bring to Christ those who are under the law. When I am with the Gentiles who do not follow the Jewish law, I too live apart from that law so I can bring them to Christ. But I do not ignore the law of God; I obey the law of Christ. When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. 1 Corinthians 9:20-22

When that’s the kind of attitude you have towards those who are different from you, faith/prayer can be so powerful. It truly can “move mountains”.

Praying for those you disagree with (those you “hate” maybe…) softens you and just may change them in the process.

Jesus pleaded with us to have unity when we don’t agree. And man, that is hard.

“I ask not only on behalf of these (that’s the disciples), but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their word (that’s us), that they may all be one.”

John 17:20-21

I’ve seen lots of messages of love and hope and prayer for Damar and others who have experienced tragedy or have passed recently. But unfortunately, I’ve also seen messages of pure hatred and bitterness and just plain meanness toward the deceased or the victim of tragedy because they didn’t agree with that person.

This behavior, I’m sad to say, is exhibited even by those who profess to be believers.

That’s the opposite of unity and the purpose of prayer.

Praying moves me closer to God and closer to other believers and humanity in general. Depending on how I decide to view the outcome of the thing I’m praying about, prayer can deepen my faith and help me be a more vital member of the Body of Christ (what we call “the church”).

Prayer isn’t a test of God’s existence, or a test of whether or not He cares about His creation. If you view prayer in those terms, that’s a pretty shallow view. I encourage you to dig a little deeper. See what the Bible really says about prayer, read what others have written about what prayer is and how powerful and life-changing it can be.

Prayer, if used in the proper way, benefits us and others so very much, even if our requests aren’t answered the way we hoped they would be.

If people mock you or make fun of you for being a praying person, just keep praying anyway.

Who are you gonna believe? God, or the haters?

“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

James 5:16