Thoughts and Prayers

Every so often, something happens in my life to remind me that prayer is real.

It’s not like I ever forget that about prayer.  But prayer is just one more thing that we end up taking for granted, knowing all the facts about it, but forgetting the power it has, until we are reminded through overwhelming evidence.

Anecdotal evidence, sure.

But the anecdote is mine, and it is real.

I had been struggling with some uncomfortably intense envy and anger for a week or so.  Like many of you, I carry some heavy baggage around now and then which affects how I view my worth. 

Over the years, I’ve learned to not pick those suitcases up so often. 

Because they are heavy. 

And ugly. 

And unnecessary. 

But sometimes I do fall back into that uncomfortably comfortable habit of picking up the worn old baggage when a situation triggers old feelings.  It’s interesting how that works. 

BUT –  that’s a different story for a different day. 

Maybe.

Anyway, I was having trouble getting this situation out of my mind.  I was obsessing, to the point of questioning my choices, my involvement, my focus, and even my purpose. 

Dramatic, I know.

Reasonable? 

At the time, those thoughts made total sense to me.

That next Sunday, I spent some time catching up with a friend after church.  There is only a small handful of people who I let get close enough to really know me, and this friend is one of those.  She has had similar life experiences, we live out our faith in very similar ways, and she just “gets” me. 

So, we were getting caught up after in-person church. 

Pandemic protocol meant that everyone was masked up, respecting a social distance of at least 6 feet between people not from the same household, and no touching/hugging.  It is what it is.

We talked about our families, the crazy 2020 Christmas season, work, life.  I asked her how she was doing. 

Then she asked me how I was doing. 

And I knew she really wanted to know, so I told her.  Told her about my struggles, and how hurt I felt, and how I did not want to be a person wracked with envy and anger, but I was having trouble letting it go.  I cried.  She hugged me. #NotBeingSociallyDistantRightThen #Oopsies 

She told me she would pray for me.

Thoughts and prayers.

Many people, when they say “I’ll pray for you”, don’t necessarily mean it.  Thankfully, most of my friends will actually pray for you if they say they will. I think that’s pretty awesome.

 But for many people, saying “you’re in my prayers”, is just a kind, somewhat expected thing that believing people say at appropriate times.

This friend though?  She MEANT it.  And I knew that.

I felt better having shared my struggle with someone who really listened, and understood, and cared about me as a person, friend, and Sister in our faith. 

I felt better for having shared my struggle and my pain.

But there’s more.

The next day, Monday – I KNEW she had been praying for me. 

How did I know? 

Because that envy and anger were GONE. 

Just, GONE. 

This isn’t a “preacher story” (a.k.a. made up or highly exaggerated), and I’m not being dramatic to make my post more exciting.

The envy and anger were completely gone.  The obsessive feelings I’d been battling for a couple of weeks on my own had disappeared so dramatically that I couldn’t help but notice their absence.

The air felt different.

The relief was immediate. 

I felt a peace, not just about that situation and how I was affected by it, but about life in general.

Thoughts, and prayers.

The peace and the total lack of envy/anger lasted all week. 

It didn’t come back. 

It’s still gone.  2 weeks later.

The triggering situation didn’t change, and in fact it got a little worse (IMHO).  But I have a sense of peace about it, and the ability to accept that it is what it is.

I’m truly ok with it; not just pretend OK.

I’m sure there’ll be another situation someday that will trigger that kind of intense reaction again. I’m sure I’ll reach for those old, worn, smelly suitcases for awhile.

I am not naïve enough to think that I’ll never be triggered like that again.

But let me tell you – the peace and comfort and relief I received from having shared my struggle with someone else, KNOWING she  had prayed for me, and experiencing the result of the merciful answer to that prayer – that was such a gift. 

All I had to do was find the courage to be transparent, and then wait, expectantly. 

Thoughts, and prayers.

This experience was a needed reminder that God hears our prayers, that sharing our struggles (confessing) with trusted others isn’t just Biblical – it’s HELPFUL, and that allowing myself to accept a much desired spiritual gift isn’t weakness – it’s strength. 

It takes a lot of self-control not to try and resolve everything myself.  And thankfully, we don’t have to, because we CAN’T solve everything by sheer willpower and gumption.

I know that not everyone who will read this believes in God, or in prayer being an actual thing that has any power attached to it. Some will think that it was just a coincidence that my relief came the day after a friend said she’d pray about it.

That’s OK. 

I plan to write more on the topics of faith and assurance in the near future. 

But today, I just wanted to share my experience with you.

Hopefully reading about it encourages you like it did me.

Thoughts and prayers. I’ve heard people, even professing believers, say they are tried of hearing about your “thoughts and prayers”, that they want to know what you’re going to DO instead.

But, me?

I want all the thoughts and prayers you have.

I will never roll my eyes at a “thoughts and prayers” comment, or say you can keep those to yourself until you actually DO something.

People are often needy and hurting, and we often feel so helpless in our desire to help. We forget how much power and usefulness we actually have through our thoughts, and especially, our prayers.

These shouldn’t be considered a LAST resort, or a weak option. Thoughts, and especially prayers, should always be part of the answer, the first thing we offer.

So, thank you, to everyone out there who has ever told someone struggling that you will pray for them. 

And then done it.

Thank you for your thoughts, and especially, for your prayers.

“… confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. “ James 5:16