It’s been an odd stretch of time, these last few years.
I haven’t posted much, haven’t written much.
Not that I haven’t had things to say, because I have had things to say. But I haven’t said them, at least not where many people can hear.
It hasn’t felt safe “out there”.
Hasn’t felt safe to be vulnerable and authentic in a world where disagreement causes not just mild conflict and discomfort, but now includes hatred and harsh assumptions, and bitter questioning of motives. Even by those who know you well and should know better.
Those who disagree in the search for truth are now deemed to be evil instead of simply coming to a different conclusion about a matter.
When disagreement happens now, especially on matters that people feel strongly about, it is immediately assumed that the disagreeing side MUST have secret, sinister motives in order to have reached the conclusion they’ve stated.
That type of thinking is preposterous. And hurtful. And not true.
Society has lost the ability to say “I might be wrong”, and “I don’t see it that way, but I understand where you’re coming from”, and “Help me understand how you came to that conclusion, because I see it TOTALLY differently”.
People – we don’t get extra points for digging our heals in or stomping our feet in frustration!
Fear is a weapon.
And fear is a liar.
Fear has a way of shutting us down and keeping us from doing/saying/being what we need to do/say/be. Fear is a powerful weapon that throws us off balance and makes us get really small, waiting for the “right” time, waiting to feel “safe”.
When fear holds us captive, we make a whole bunch of assumptions that, in addition to usually being wrong, feed the fear and inflame the anger, but that don’t fix the problem.
The antidote to fear isn’t to get small and quiet until the assault and confusion pass.
The way to dispel fear is to step right through it, right into the discomfort, head held high, perhaps with voice shaking, and share truth as you see it.
Feeling afraid, still, but doing the thing anyway.
Even if people who have known you for a really long time and should know better decide you have ulterior or evil motives.
I turned 60 a few months ago and realized that it’s time to be vulnerable and authentic again, because all of us have a limited amount of time to do what we were put on earth to do.
I feel compelled to start writing again, start sharing more. Start facing the fears and speaking up.
Not impulsively. Not in a mean way. Not unreasonable. Not with bitterness or anger or harsh assumptions, even if I have been maligned or misjudged.
Regardless of how others act, I am responsible for my own choices and actions.
Vulnerable. Authentic. Truthful. And hopefully, in some small way, helpful.
Peripheral Wisdom 