I was in a dark place emotionally earlier this week.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on what, exactly, had taken me there. There were the obvious things that have made 2020 a “heavy” year, especially with the election having been just the prior week.
I was doing pretty much ok.
Until I wasn’t.
All of a sudden, everything felt so overwhelming, so “too much”, that I shut down and went to my mental hobbit hole (is that even a thing?) where I could hide from it all and be safe. I doubted that I could deal with it all anymore, doubted my part in the world, doubted that anything I did or said made any difference at all.
Encouragement comes from the most unexpected places, and as I was scrolling through my social media (a bad idea when one is already in a dark place), there it was. A post by my Praise & Harmony Singers recording buddy, Anne.
With her permission, I am sharing what she wrote on her social media that day. I’ve added some formatting, but otherwise, these are her words verbatim. She said exactly what I needed to hear: words of encouragement, but also words of aspirtation to not give up, and hope that my efforts DO matter. I hope her words are meaningful to you, too.
From Anne:
So, I’ve been chewing on this for a while now, and I am going to share some thoughts. Honestly, 2020 has been difficult for everyone in some way or another. I mean, a global pandemic, shutdowns, a hostile political climate that is only getting worse, finger-pointing and hate speech, racial tensions, a struggling economy…sadly this list doesn’t even cover the half of it. It is heartbreaking and anxiety-inducing. And yes, all of this is BIG stuff…piled on top of the every-day hardships of life.
But as I try to fight fear and overwhelm, I keep trying to discern what the root of my feelings is.
What is it that makes me want to withdraw from the world?
I keep coming back to shame.
Everywhere I look, it seems that judgement and shame are being tossed around like confetti.
- Did you vote for XYZ in the presidential election? Shame on you, you should have known better.
- Are you sick with C-19? Shame on you for not following all of the rules to protect yourself and those you love. Now tell us everywhere you’ve carelessly been and everyone you have carelessly exposed. Shame.
- Are you wearing masks? Shame on you for being controlled by the masses.
- Are you not wearing masks? Shame on you for not loving others and wanting to protect them.
- Are you still watching church online? Shame on you for forsaking the assembly.
- Going to in-person church? Shame on you for taking unnecessary risks.
- Have you gained weight in 2020? Shame on you for letting yourself go…you’ve had nothing but time, right?
- Shame on you for buying extra toilet paper, for buying too many groceries (even though your entire family is now eating at home, 3 meals a day, and you aren’t over-buying but simply trying to feed the masses), and extra shame if you have worn white pants or shoes since Labor Day, and don’t eat tacos every Tuesday.
It can feel as though you can never do anything right, and sadly, we are all feeling very bold and think we can point out the ‘poor judgement’ of others, labeling it bad because it doesn’t match our own choices.
This shaming culture is toxic.
It creates fear.
It flares anxiety.
It causes people to become angry and act out, and yet in others, it sends them hiding from the world, isolating themselves and feeling helpless and hopeless.
Shame is a powerful weapon that we wield without a second thought, and it has got to stop.
Every day, I wake up resolved to fight my own fear and anxiousness by loving those around me to the best of my abilities. I am far from perfect, but this I know: when shame is heaped upon me, it eats away at me. I become consumed with fear. We are all hurting each other with harsh words of judgement and shame.
And in my best Mama voice, I am telling you all to STOP IT.
Love wins. Not shame.
Thankfully, my Father says that if I come to Him when I am weary and heavy-laden, He will give me rest.
And isn’t that what we all need right now? Rest?
Yes, rest. (exhale).
We cannot fix the big issues that this world is facing, but we absolutely CAN fix how we love and treat others, and this will go a LONG way in easing fear and stress.
Next time you feel obligated to speak words of judgement or division, or to share that not-so-peaceful or kind post, or to wag your finger proclaiming ‘shame on you’, I’m begging you to stop.
And when the weight of fear and shame starts to become heavy, give it to Him. He will give you rest. (exhale)
*All shaming comments will be deleted. 😊
Peripheral Wisdom 