Wait… What if we DON’T Win??

In just a few days, we’ll know the outcome of the 2020 election cycle.  We are all ready to be done with this process, because it’s been pretty nasty and contentious out there, especially when you factor in, well, 2020. 

There are some really big issues being decided and candidates being elected, not the least of which is for the President of the United States.  Every election is “big”, don’t get me wrong, but this one seems to be extra important.  We’ve been flocking to early voting opportunities like nobody’s business, and will likely set voter participation records during this election, that’s how big a deal this is.

We all know that no matter which side wins, there will be some people who are very upset. 

Both sides believe they will win.  Not just hope they will; but fully BELIEVE it.

But we all know that isn’t how elections work.  One side will win, and one side will not.

Right now, today, I’m asking you (and me) to get ready and plan how we’ll act if we are on either the winning, or the losing side. 

Why?

Because Americans as a whole haven’t acted very well during 2020.  And unless we plan in advance how we’ll act after hearing the election results – whether good or bad – there’s no reason to think people won’t continue to act terrible. 

And by “terrible”, I mean rude, violent, mean, destructive, revenge seeking, refusing to believe the result I didn’t want, stark-raving mad, and not very nice.

Communities are preparing in advance for the possibility of people not behaving well after the election results come out.

Apparently, I’m not the only one who is feeling a little bit anxious about next week.

So given all that, I have some advice on how to celebrate or mourn RESPECTFULLY, no matter which side of the ballot you are on, whether you win or you lose.

Because shouting, “Y’all be nice!” isn’t working all that well right now.

If your candidate(s) win:

1. Let out that big breath you’ve been holding!
2. Celebrate! Your candidate was victorious!  That’s awesome!
3. Be gracious to those who lost.  Even if they have been jerks during the election cycle.  Even if they are being jerks right now. Why?  Because how you act RIGHT NOW says everything about who you are, not who they are.    
4. Let them grieve.  Their reasons for supporting the candidates and issues they supported make total sense to them, just like your reasons make total sense to you.  Their world just crumbled. They will have thoughts and feelings about the election, about the loss, about the future.  They may be in disbelief, they may deny the outcome, they may be spitting nails angry, they may feel utterly hopeless.  It’s been intense for all of us.  They will need time to process those feelings.  Be understanding about that.
5. Don’t be a jerk.  You know exactly what I mean.  Please don’t throw your victory in the other side’s faces and gloat about your candidate winning.  Don’t be “that guy/gal” on social media who rubs the other side’s face in the mud.  You are better than that.  (Please, be better than that.)
6. Show a little self-restraint in your celebration.  Yes, celebrate your victory!  But don’t feel like you have to put the other side down in order to properly celebrate your win. 
7. Look for ways to come together as people.  Build bridges, don’t burn them down.  Maybe not today, but in a few days, when things settle out a bit.
8. Remember that relationships are more important than, well, most anything. Especially politics!  Prioritize the relationships.

As hard as it may be to believe, as much you feel confident going into election day, the truth is, your candidate or hill-to-die-on-issue could end up losing.

Being on the losing side of a major election, when you believe your very existence or very way of life is at risk, is huge.  It is like a death.  You may wish you WERE dead. 

You will experience the stages of grief, probably intensely, and probably not just once, as if someone had died.

STAGES OF GRIEF (Regardless of the type of loss):

If your candidate(s) do not win:

1. Admit how you feel, but don’t blame others for your feelings
2. Share your disappointment without being abusive to those whose side won
3. Gain perspective – Realize that this country has had a long history of good and bad political leaders, and we have survived all of them.  We will survive this one, too.  If you are tempted to believe this situation is the worst it’s ever been, do some reading about how things were during the beginning years of the country, or during the Civil War years, or during the 60s.  This feels bad, and it may be, but try to gain perspective.  All is not lost.
4. Don’t be a jerk “out there”.  I’m especially talking about social media, where it is easy to spew out all your frustrations and emotions. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend face-to-face, don’t put it online.
5. Remember that RELATIONSHIPS are more important than POLITICS.  Your feelings may be raw and extreme right now, but try to remember that “this too shall pass”.  Don’t say or do things to damage relationships based your immediate thoughts and feelings.
6. Know that in just a few short years (time really does pass quickly) you’ll get another opportunity to vote for those issues and candidates you support.
7. It may feel like the end of the world right now, but it really isn’t.
8. Focus on the things you CAN control and positively impact, things like how you get along with your family, how well you perform at your job, and how involved you are in your community.  Start volunteering for a cause you are passionate about.

At the end of the day, whether you win or lose, when all the results are in, life goes on and we all do the best we can to make the world a better place.  We all have multiple opportunities every single day to improve our world, right where we are. 

So, if your candidates/issues win next week, PLEASE be a gracious winner.

Losing stinks, especially when it involves things that are of utmost importance to you. 

But, if the unthinkable happens and you are on the losing end of things, please, also, be a gracious loser.

Don’t forget that we all basically want the same things.  We simply see different ways to achieve those things. 

Seeking Shalom.