Triggered

If you are like most humans, you’re pretty much ready to say buh-bye to 2020.

2020 – the year that just keeps on giving!

2020 – full of button-pushing, never-seen-that-before, the-worst-it’s-ever-been, I-can’t-believe-that-just-happened moments.   

Just when we think it can’t get worse (don’t ever say that out loud), it does.  And does.  And then does, again.

2020 has given us a global pandemic and all the changes and loss that come with it, natural (as well as human-caused) disasters, a contentious election cycle, social tensions and mayhem, long-time friends becoming mortal enemies over differences of opinion, and just overall chaos and disbelief.

People are as divided and divisive as most of us have ever experienced. 

We’ve got pandemic fatigue (does everything just seem HARDER and take LONGER to you, too?), social unrest, political disgust, social media minefields, increased domestic violence, and general overwhelmment. (If that isn’t a word, it should be.).

The air is heavy with 2020.  I can feel it.  Can you?

We’re sort of on our last nerve over here, and it is as raw as a diaper rash.

If you are like most people, you are feeling a little bit more touchy, emotional, and edgy lately. 

If so, the following graphic has a few things to keep in mind that will help you when you find yourself getting triggered and feel your emotions rising.

The thing that triggered you was not meant to be personal, most likely.  Unless, of course, it WAS – there’s some of that, too. 

But mostly?  Not about you.

One of Don Miguel Ruiz’s 4 Agreements is this:  “Don’t take anything personally”. 

Why?  Because, in general, nothing others do is because of you.  They aren’t even THINKING about you when they say what they say or do what they do.  What others say and do is a projection of THEM. 

If you can manage to be less bothered by the opinions and actions of others, you won’t end up being a victim of your out-of-control emotions and the possibility of saying or doing something you will regret later. 

Ruiz’s 3^rd Agreement is “Don’t make assumptions”. 

We usually make assumptions based on OUR emotions and OUR anecdotal experience and OUR worldview rather than on any concrete knowledge or facts about the person or group our view applies to. 

Our assumptions are quite often wrong, or at least only partially right. 

Ever heard (or said… ) things like “Anyone who votes for Candidate A hates freedom!” or “You know all athletes are stuck up snobs!” or “Those Christians ALL believe xyz – I mean look at how the Westboro Baptist church behaves.  Christians are haters.” or “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”?

Assumptions will get you in trouble, unfairly and incorrectly influence your views about other people, and raise your blood pressure.  Figurately and literally. And our assumptions, especially about people we’ve never met, are usually wrong. 

So why go there?

It’s not reasonable to think that we will never get upset, never get triggered by other people’s words and actions. 

People will still say mean, untrue things.

People will still write things on social media that they’d never say in person.

You’ll still feel a righteous indignation that will tempt you to fling it right back in their direction.

To correct them.

To set them straight.

But you don’t have to. You really don’t.

We can’t create a world where everybody behaves all the time and you never get upset.

But – we CAN take ownership of our own thoughts and actions in relation to those things that upset us so much, and make choices that help us manage our feelings, words, and actions.

Hang in there, friends.  2020 can’t last forever.  Can it??