I remember loving back-to-school time as a kid: the excitement of getting new school supplies (new crayons are THE BEST), the longing to see all my friends again, the promise of a fresh start, and the hunger to learn new things.
Remember when the school supply list for your grade finally included INK PENS instead of just pencils as you got older?
And you were instructed to bring COLLEGE RULED notebook paper instead of the paper that was for “babies”?
Or when you graduated past bringing the scissors with rounded ends, and could finally use the ones with the point at the end? So exciting!
How about when you could bring MARKERS?
Or the 64-count crayons with the sharpener built in?
I remember being annoyed that we had to use either BLUE or BLACK ink, even though there were much more exciting ink colors (purple or aqua, anyone??).
And I loved going back-to-school clothes shopping.
All the fall fashions were so new and stylish. So Mom would let me get a few “fall” outfits that I couldn’t wait to wear. The problem was, I grew up in TEXAS, so it would still be 80 degrees out, even way into fall, and it was torture to have to either wait to wear those new long sleeved outfits and coats, or wear them and pretend that you didn’t mind all the sweat running down your back.
Sometimes you have to suffer to be stylish, it’s true.
It was also exciting to see our own daughters go through the same excitement buying those school supplies and looking forward to the new school year.
Watching them and remembering.
But time marches on. I, obviously, don’t have “back to school” for myself anymore. And our girls are now grown up with lives of their own.
So I live vicariously through all my social media friends, as they post pictures of their own kids’ “first days” of school. I love seeing the smiles and excitement, oohing and ahhing over how much the kids have grown.
I still love this time of year.
But along with all the excitement and anticipation and hopes for a great year ahead, is something that is not always so easy or so fun.
TRANSITION
Life is full of transitions, and back-to-school time is an annual appointment with some big transitions for many people.
Maybe your oldest is starting school for the first time. And you’re a little sad about that, while still being so happy for, and proud of, that child.
Or your youngest is headed off to kindergarten. And you feel a little bit older, and a need to treasure every second.
Maybe it’s the last “first day of school” for your child. And you feel a little (or a lot of) panic set in as you become intensely aware that this is the beginning of a huge “ending”.
Or you’ve just dropped your son or daughter off at college.
Miles and miles away from home.
For the first time.
Proud, and scared, and weepy, and excited, and a little bit jealous.
Confession: I was always just little bit jealous of all the cool classes that the girls were signed up for each semester. I would threaten to enroll so that I could take those cool classes, AND, we could be roommates.
They were just a little scared that I might be serious…
Maybe your nest just became empty, and you aren’t quite sure how you feel about that. Who are you now? What’s involved in being the parent of an adult child? How does that look? And what will I do now that I’m here ALL ALONE WITH MY SPOUSE?? 😲
I’ve felt all of those emotions, plus some. I am one of those people for whom transitions are a bit difficult, and it takes me some time to adjust and get my feet on the ground again. Especially, that empty nest thing. Whoo boy.
And then becoming a grandparent – another huge transition in identity that sort of blindsided me. How does one “BE” a grandmother?? When I felt too young to be one? What are the expectation? (Note: I’ve gotten past that one! Grandparenthood is the BEST THING EVER!)
Also, over the past few months, I’ve been impacted by the deaths of friends and acquaintances. Some lived long, honorable, impactful lives, while others were taken way too soon. And those deaths made me aware, again, of life’s huge transitions, if not for me specifically, then certainly for their close family and friends.
And then there are all those new babies! So much excitement and joy. But HUGE change and transition for the parents, grandparents, and others close to those families.
People moving, couples getting married, babies being born, kids starting school, graduates heading off to college, nests becoming empty, people dying.
So much change all through life.
Change is inevitable. But we often don’t like it very much
There are many transitions that tug deeply at your emotions, and you feel a lot of sad along with joy. It can be easy to let the “sad” get the best of you.
But, I want to encourage you to see the flip side of the sadness and confusion of transition.
What I want to tell you, regardless of what transition you are dealing with, is IT WILL ALL BE OK.
You won’t always feel the way you do today. You’ll adjust, you’ll figure it all out.
Life transitions are normal, and necessary. If you have lived long enough to experience the transition you are going through today, you are very blessed indeed! Not everyone experiences these milestone events in life.
What you are feeling – no matter what it is – is normal.
You may feel lost. Or old. Or insignificant. Or confused. Or sad. Or angry. Or really happy and thankful. Or nothing. Or all of it.
Just feel what you feel. Talk to others in your same life stage. One thing is for sure – you aren’t alone in your life stage or in what you are experiencing.
We see you. We get you.
You may need to figure out who you are, now. That’s ok. You’ll figure it out, and it will be OK. Probably better than OK.
It may take awhile to work through your feelings and figure it all out. That’s ok too.
And if you get stuck? If you get mired down in the negative emotions and can’t seem to find your way out? Then reach out and get help. Many of us have been there and will be glad to listen and share our experience and wisdom with you.
Life is full of change. And that can really suck, especially if you loved the stage that is ending. But the rest of life can be amazing, too, if you decide to let it be!
It really is up to you!
Peripheral Wisdom 