Yesterday was Cyber Monday: the Monday after Thanksgiving. designated as a day to shop online and get some amazing deals. This event was created, not surprisingly, by marketers themselves in 2005 and presented to the public as big news.
By definition, the goal of a marketer is to create as much profitable business as possible by communicating to the public what it is they are trying to sell. Since these marketers are the same people who are telling you what a great thing Cyber Monday is, your mileage may vary in the “great deal” department!
But a bunch of people sure do shop online on Cyber Monday.
Anyway, I was hearing all sorts of Cyber Monday ads on the radio as I was driving in to work, tempting me with hoards of fancy, shiny, exciting things like the new iPhone, vacations, tablets and laptops, huge HD TVs, clothes, shoes, jewelry, and pretty much anything I can imagine that I might want or need.
I mean, to buy for someone else for Christmas. Because, um, I’m supposed to be buying stuff for OTHER people right now…
Now, maybe it’s always been this way, but I was noticing one phrase pop up over and over in these tantalizing ads that I hadn’t noticed so much in the past. A phrase that, I guess, is supposed to be a selling point. Something that was supposed to make me sit up, take notice, pump my fist, and say, “That’s right!”. And then go buy me that iPhone 6!
Why was I supposed to go buy their product? Well, obviously, it’s because
(Fist pump!) I deserve to have that shiny, cool, new, fun, expensive thing. Yes – ME! Amazing, so-long-forgotten, wanting-new-stuff ME!
I know that phrase was intended to speak to my overworked, under-appreciated, neglected, self-sacrificing self and make me want their items all the more.
Because, by God, I DESERVE THIS!
But it didn’t.
I didn’t all of a sudden want to go out and get myself those wonderful things that they told me I deserved to have.
Instead, it made me scrunch up my forehead, narrow my gaze, and ponder. The phrase felt – I don’t know – icky. Slimy. Just not right. Sure, I DO work hard (at least sometimes…), and sometimes get overlooked, and sometimes get taken for granted. I don’t go out and buy every single thing my heart desires, and I often (by choice) put others’ needs ahead of my own.
But does that mean I deserve a new iPhone?? Or do I deserve “quality service and attention” when I’m shopping, more than other people who, the advertisers are implying, don’t deserve it? Really?
And then it hit me. I realized why that phrase felt so wrong to me. It’s this whole idea of entitlement. How we as a culture live as if the world revolves around ME, and we feel so ENTITLED to whatever we want, whenever we want it. If I want it, then I oughta have it.
This endemic self-focus is such an established trait these days, that entitlement has become a marketing ploy that businesses are hoping will be as effective as using a beautiful women or hot guy or great humor or sentimentality to sell their products.
Especially during this time of year, when we are supposedly focusing on joy and peace and giving and making the world a better place – especially right now – we should be thinking about others a bit more than ourselves.
Being UNselfish.
These businesses are, instead, speaking straight to our self-centered, entitlement-demanding selves and encouraging us to look out for number one for once.
As if we weren’t already doing that most of the time anyway, much to my chagrin.
They are reenforcing the popular idea that the world revolves around ME! I just forgot for a minute! Thanks for reminding me! I DO deserve that iPhone!
Maybe I’m making too much out of this. Maybe I was just in a mood this morning.
But I think there is something very wrong with us when the idea of entitlement is used as a motivating reason for giving gifts. Or being kind. Or offering good customer service. Or buying stuff for ourselves.
I really think I’m LESS likely to buy those products that somebody just told me I deserve to have. I’m pretty sure discouraging purchases wasn’t the goal the marketers had in mind.
I’d much rather hear about how beautiful or fun or leading edge the product is, and how I’d have fun with it. Or how great their customer service is – for everybody, not just for those of us who deserve good service. Even a phrase like, “You know you want this!” would sit better with me. At least that’s honest.
I DON’T deserve an expensive, top of line, amazing gift any more than anyone else does. I may end up buying something nice for myself, but if I do, it’ll be because I want it and can afford it. Not because I deserve it.
Last time I checked, we were supposed to be giving to those LESS fortunate (and perhaps less deserving) than we are. That’s the whole idea of holiday giving. Isn’t it?
If you want to give me an iPhone 6 or a new car or send me to Europe for 2 weeks, or just give me some of my favorite candy (Hot Tamales!) by all means, give away!
But don’t do it because I “deserve it”. Do it because you want to. Because we are friends. Because giving makes you feel good.
Will I still buy gifts for myself, just because I want to? Sometimes, yes, I’m sure I will.
The world doesn’t revolve around me. And that’s just fine. But if we go about our lives looking through the filter of making sure we get what we deserve, through the lens of entitlement, the world will not be a very happy or peaceful or better place.
And folks who live with the entitlement chip on their shoulder? Are they happy and contented? Nope. They seem to be pretty miserable. Because feeling entitled never ends, and you can never acquire enough stuff to satisfy.
As Christians, our aim should be to focus LESS on self as time goes on. To be strong enough to not need to be the center of the universe. To live life based on the realization that happiness isn’t found in acquiring stuff or getting “what you deserve”.
I’m thankful that Jesus was born so many years ago, and that with Him, I can set my entitlement chip down and focus on how best to serve and bless others. In the case of my salvation, I’m forever grateful that I DON’T get what I deserve!
Because my purpose and value aren’t based on anything I do or buy or acquire; my value comes through who HE IS.
Peripheral Wisdom 